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| Bad Judges |
The road to suicide for children in family court starts
with an attorney who strongly pressured the mother not to present any evidence
about the father’s domestic violence.
Reasons for this approach:
Ignorance of the enormous harm caused by exposure to
domestic violence.
Domestic violence complicates a case and creates a
high conflict case the judge does not want to deal with.
Judges retaliate against mothers for continuing to
believe a father is dangerous, and they will refuse forensic evidence of
children being sexually abused by the father.
The emphasis of family court and government funding is on
the need to keep fathers in the child’s life.
Gender bias of the judge that will harm the lawyer’s
relationship with the judge. An attorney should not be concern about other
cases or their career. It is a conflict of interest for this to happen and it
violates the fundamental ethical considerations of a client. When an attorney
undermines one client’s case in order to help future clients is a violation
of the client’s rights.
These attorneys deserve substantial blame for their
actions.
The bar will not hold attorneys accountable. If a parent should file a complaint with the bar association other attorneys can see
in their account with the bar that the client filed a complaint. This will then
make the attorney not want to take the case when a complaining parent is
seeking new counsel.
Attorneys get a reputation for winning a case, not
losing. They want to take cases they can either win or make big money on.
The court system must also share the blame for its actions.
Judges that encouraged the lawyer’s bad decisions so
that the attorney can further their career is a violation of justice.
These approaches work great for abusers who seek
custody to gain access to their victim and punish them for leaving. Professionals
what to blame the failure of courts to integrate current scientific research,
but no one wants to believe that custody could be being sold. Men typically
make more money than women. Abusive men will also control the finances of their
victims. Stay at home mothers are at greater risk of custody being sold as
well.
Most contested cases (75-90%) involve domestic violence.
Abusers use custody to regain what they believe is
their right to control their partner by seeking custody and using the
litigation to bankrupt the mother. The abuser does not want to pay child
support making claims the mother uses child support to party and for drugs.
Abusive fathers will mentally abuse their children with Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS).
The father will be the fun dad and allow the children
to do things that the mother will not. They will allow the child to do
dangerous activities or watch horror movies at a young age. These children will
act up for the mother and cause all kinds of problems. Dad will use the oldest
child to gain information about mom and will give special attention to the
child. If the child refuses to give the information, he will then withhold love.
This will create a conflict with the other children because the oldest is
gaining attention and special favors.
Domestic violence or mental abuse is not a crime in family court.
Family court is a civil court for claims of money. Criminal
court is for crimes so in order to hold the abuser accountable the case will
need to get in criminal court. Prosecuting attorneys will refuse to take a
mother’s complaint of any kind of abuse by the father. The courts do not work
together, so even if you did get the prosecutor to take the case, it is still
likely to be ignored by the family court judge anyway.
Judges assume that high conflict cases are because the
parties are angry at each other and using the courts to get back at each other.
The courts seek to promote cooperation between parents, but an abusive woman trying to get away from an abuser is to have no
communication or contacts.
Judges are threating mothers to take the children and
put them into protective custody if she refuses to communicate with the father.
Mothers believe the courts will protect her and her
children by always hearing “in the best interest of the children.” Eventually, she learns this is not true and there is little help.
Domestic violence shelters and programs work with judges and the police.
Judges and law enforcement employees are sitting on
nonprofit organizations boards and obtaining Federal grant money such as
Violence Against Woman’s Act (VAWA). They do not have to report back to the Federal
government where they spend this money. If a judge is not protecting the mother
and her children and she discovers the judge is sitting on the board of the
shelter or organization to obtain help, she will place her mistrust of the
judge on the organization.
If the mother has called the police to a domestic
violence situation and the police officer sided with the abuser, she will not
trust the police to protect her or her children. Domestic violence laws were
changed because police officers are the number one abuser. Police officers
would show up to the scene and the abuser would become buddies with the police
officer. Domestic violence is about power and control and police officers sure
do have that.
Mothers are being educated that custody is being sold in family court.
When mothers are being blamed for everything that they
do as wrong, and the father is being praised as a great dad, this is a heads up
that custody is being sold. The attorney who sold custody must keep others from
figuring out what they did. Making the mother a bad person shows others she
deserved to get her kids taken and keeps the focus on her instead of the
injustice being done. Know The Red Flags Of Custody Being Sold.
Shared parenting is completely inappropriate in abuse cases.
Most shared parenting cases are because fathers don’t
want to pay for child support. Mention share housing to these fathers, and they
will get offensive. Shared housing means the children stay in the home and one
week the father stays at the home with the children. The next week the mother
would stay at the home and the father would leave. Equal payment of the house
bills would be shared.
Abusers will in no way want to cooperate with this kind
of solution because it is about the best interest of that child and not the victims.
Judges often want a quick solution to difficult cases that may help a judge meet standards and goals. Some solutions are:
Shared parenting because the judge has not heard any
evidence of abuse or abuse has not been established, but the lawyer encouraged
the mother to not bring up in her case.
Sole custody for one parent the judge deems to be a
fit parent. The fit parent may have lied and put up a front as a respectable
parent, but it was all a facade.
The parent who provides most of the childcare during the first two years of the child’s life is and always will be the child’s primary attachment figure.
Children who are denied a normal relationship with
their primary attachment figure are at increased risk of depression, low
self-esteem, and suicide. They are directly connected to the tragic outcome in
these cases. Health and safety concern of these children should be
a concern of judges. Judges making a potentially fatal decision should be a
concern for any parent in the family court. Studies and statistics need to be done
on these cases, especially when a need is seen and being fulfilled to reach and
help these children to not commit suicide.