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| Children And Family Court |
Family court and the words used are not only confusing to children, but to parents also. “As a Legal Domestic Abuse Coach, the number one questions parents ask is, can you explain the process of family court?” Says Deanna Kloostra.
If parents do not understand the process and attorneys are not explaining it to their clients, how can a parent explain it to a child?
Going to court is scary and nerve-racking to parents and for a child to have to go to court is triple the anxiety.
At the beginning of a separation of a relationship, children have so many questions that they are not asking their parent’s but keeping them inside to themselves. Sometimes they ask each parent and they get a different answer. How confusing is that?Some typical questions children are asking is:
Will I live with mom or dad?
When will I get to see my other parent?
Did I do something to make my parent leave? Maybe I get in trouble to much?
My parent left because they didn’t love me.
Will I have to leave my school and my friends?
Do I have to move to a new house, and can I keep the dog?
When parents cannot resolve their dispute’s, a judge decides what is going to happen to them.
Who is this judge? Why can’t I talk to them? What is court and why is an attorney needed? Why do I have to talk to someone? The court makes my parent angry, why? Why do I need counseling? Why can’t I live with my other parent? It’s not fair I have to live here! Why didn’t dad get me this weekend for visitation? Does dad still love me?
Cases can drag on for years, children learn to not
feel safe.
They hear parents over talk about the other parent and say negative
things. Some parents will alienate the children from the other parent in order
to get custody so they don’t have to pay child support and can get back at the other
parent. Other parents try and keep their children from the other parent by not
showing up for visitations or come at different times. The parent tells the
child they were there and reminds the child they were with them. The parents just
leave out the fact they were an hour early and left before the other parent
arrived A GAL will side with the abusive father?
Even though the Guardian Ad Litem GAL’s are aware of the domestic violence laws that state the violence parents is not allowed to have custody and must have supervised visitations, they side with the abusive father. Ask a GAL for their qualification to do work with children and they say the judge knows their qualifications. This is a huge indication they have no qualifications but maybe a legal degree.Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) workers are put on cases to listen to the children so they can be heard, but then the judge ignores what the CASA worker has to say.
One day a police officer shows up and takes the kids.
The parent is frantic and angry, and the children don’t know what is going on. The police officer takes them to the other parent’s house, and they do not see their other parent for months. The parent they now live with talks about a removal order and the child doesn’t understand what that is. The child may hear a parent state the reason for the removal and know it’s not the truth. The child then needs to process a parent lied and is keeping them away from their other parent along with having to ride in a cop car and wondering if their other parent is ok.Some parents coach their children.
Parents will coach their child on what they to say and not say to the GAL. The child is afraid of what might happen if they mess up and say the wrong thing. They are concerned about the repercussions, their safety, and if they will ever get to see the other parent again if they follow the coaching by the parent.Let’s face it, there are documentaries, groups, and more on the family court and it is a money-making business and parents and children are getting Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from the courts. Custody is being sold, parents and children are committing suicide, judges do not follow the law. Parents are marching on Washington and talk to representatives who do little to fix the issues.
The children are not only caught in between their parents but a failed system.
Children want to understand the role of a (GAL) that the court appoints to represent their best interests and ensure the court hears the child’s views. These GAL’s are selling custody to the parent with the most money. They are not helping women of domestic violence protect their kids. Deanna Kloostra started Used And Abused Now Loved to help mothers who left their abuser and not only lost custody of their child to the abuser but concealed from their child as well!Sometimes it’s just too much pressure on children.
How do you explain corruption to children and illegal activities of the family court? Kids can’t be kids when their parents go through a high conflict case. Divorce should not cost $10,000 to $100,000. Why isn’t the price of getting a divorced a fixed amount of money! Sure would stop lawyers from creating a game to keep the parents fighting and making more money.Does the law profession need to be heavily regulated, jail times for parents and others, and fines in place if someone can’t follow a simple order to save our children?